Fingers curled, and lips cracked.
“Do you know what Bulimia Nervosa is..Christine” The so called..'Doctor' with hair as bright as fire asked me.
Of course I knew what it was.
“No” I spoke.
It went on from there, she explained what it was, and that I was diagnosed with it. Me? With a eating disorder? Please. I had no such thing.
“I dont have a eating disorder” I pleaded. But of course, what was that going to do me? Was that going to tug the IV out of my hand? Or cure the ripped tissue inside my stomach? No. No it wasn't.
“Yes, yes you do” She glanced at my mom and gave her the 'This happens all the time look'. Clearing her throat, she then started a speech about me going into treatment, in care, or out care.
I freaked out about both. No way would I ever consider that, I wasn’t even underweight. I was OVER weight. But nothing less, I nodded my head, and left that hospital. Still determined to do what ever it cost to reach my so called..'perfection' I had in my head. Treatment also never happened.
I have lost 15 or 20 pounds out of all of this. Now weighing 149(Last time I weighed), and wanting to get to 120. I will stop at no cost.
I guess this will be a journal day blog thing. Likeadiarything
Who knows what this thing is going to be filled with daily.
-That One Girl
